June 1st Walk 5: I walk in your name

For this walk, I had to ask my mom what to walk for as she was the only one home as my dad and sister were at work. I showed my mom the assignment and gave her an hour to come up with an idea, not giving any input of my own. An hour later she comes to me and says "I want you to walk to quit smoking". She said that most walks were for cancer, diabetes and such but she had never heard of a walk to quit smoking. I asked her what she wanted me to do exactly for the walk. To paraphrase:"Go across the street to the middle school and run around the track until your lungs burn more than you have ever felt from smoking. This burn will not be the result of the running. It is the result of your smoking. I want you to realize the damage you are doing to yourself." So prior to heading over to the track, I sparked a cig just to push her buttons...

I've been smoking for the past 5 years. I have "quit" several times, as every smoker has. But, this summer, my mom wants me to quit for real for real. No bullshit about it, and I guess this walk was a way to start the process. I smoked my cig and walked over to the track, not changing my clothing as I knew I wouldn't be able to run very long, not even bringing a water bottle with. I knew this was going to be a short "walk" but an effective one. To make matters worse, school is in session and all the kids were outside playing during recess, making this extra embarrassing. But, I had to do it. I had to complete the "walk".

I put my right foot on the starting line of lane 4. Took a last deep puff of my cig and threw it to the ground. Then...I ran... for about 10 seconds... and started to slow down. God damn I am out of shape, but I had to keep going til my lungs burned. I couldn't stop after only 10 seconds. That would be disrespectful to my mom and to the assignment. I decided 2 minutes was a good goal :). I took out my phone to keep track of the time and kept running... if that is what you want to call what I was doing. The two minutes were up, and I was in a deep sweat, huffing, choking and then... I puked up a ton of mucus. Bleh, I felt horrible. Struggling to walk the 500 feet back to my house, I knew my mom would be waiting for me at the door to see how I did. "2 minutes..." I was embarrassed and I definitely got the point. We ended up having a discussion afterward, setting a goal to quit, making a J.N.C., which is a family promise that if you break, you are basically shunned from the family. So out of this "walk", I am becoming a nonsmoker. I cannot break the J.N.C. and I can't keep upsetting my mom. I also am determined to be able to run for more than two shitty minutes without puking up mucus. I learned more from this walk than I thought I would. So, I thank you mom, as I walked in your name.

[The image above is a scan I did of all the cigs that were in my ashtray at my apt. in Arizona. This has not been a new topic of discussion with my mom and I and I felt the image was appropriate.]